Stretching

Until last spring I completley took my body for granted. Stressed out about kids, babysitters, the house, carpooling, work (or deciding to give it up), money, everything was wound pretty tight because that is how it had to be to get things done, right? I'd skip meals and try to substitute with frappachinos. I'd rarely exercise besides a little bit of yoga to get the kinks out and then consider walking around my house, the grocery store, chasing kids, etc exercise too.

And then the whole mole thing of last spring hit me and I was made to see that all that was taking a toll on me.

And it was my responsibility to take care of myself better because so much depends on it.

I wish I could say that my committment to living a more pure, simple and healthy life was still as strong as it was in May, it's not...life creeps back in and so do those bad habits.

But the one thing that I am sticking with a bit more is Yoga.

It gets my kinks out. It makes me stronger. It makes me be quiet with myself, away from kids and the house, and just work on me.

It makes me see the truth. I cannot have a Coke and go to yoga and expect to feel good. If I skip breakfast and go in the the evening after I've ate other meals I'll still feel shakey just holding my arms over my head for a minute. If my mind is too pissed over something Rob and I are fighting about, or the car that cut me off on the way there, then there is no way I can balance. Truths that I otherwise can ignore, tuck away, repress are all right there letting me see how they effect me.

But when I run carrots through a juicer and drink that instead of Coke and frappuchinos, eat well, and go consistently I am so much happier. I feel good. My body wants to feel that way more. I want to eat better and feel turned off by just the thought of junk food. I deal with things better. Fewer people cut me off (or maybe it's the same amount but it just doesn't bother me as much).

My instructor is a beautiful 62 year old woman who is a true healer. She can see the body, the good and the bad, in such an amazing way. She is not psychic. She can just watch the way you move, how your strength (qi) is, and can tell what you are missing. She starts most of her classes with us sitting on the floor with our arms straight up over our heads and out backs in a straight line with our arms and we hold it for a minute or two. Circle our arms way back and do it again. It is amazing what you can learn about your energy, your tight spots, just doing that. Try it.

I struggled with going to her classes because I did not want to become dependent on them or her. I kept telling myself that I could get the same effects with doing yoga at home or walking aournd the neighborhood. But nothing makes me feel as good or keeps me as honest as her yoga.

I guess it is time to stop struggling and just do what I need to do for now.

(Oh, and by the way I pretty much suck at it so I don't have any pictures that I would admit too or post...at least not yet.)